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Sample MBA Essay Six - Accepted by Columbia
Prompt: Describe the two accomplishments that occurred in the last five years of which you are most
proud. (Columbia)
Strategic Advisory for American Savings Bank
In January 1994,my group was engaged by Robert Bass' Keystone Partners to evaluate their
investment in California company, the culminating point of a five-year banking relationship. Keystone
Partner however, engaged Goldman Sachs as co-advisor, thereby infuriating the Lehman team. We
swore to keep control of the valuation process by solely handling the modeling work including
complex simulations and projections, which I was solely responsible for. I quickly drafted a couple of
pages that I distributed to both teams. Overnight, the Goldman team reproduced them line by line and
sent them directly to the client as their work. It was a great strike against our team. I decided to
design a completely different model, and to draw upon the information that I could gather from a long
and fruitful client relationship with Lehman Brothers. I convinced the senior vice president, vice
president and associate who had covered the company for years to pass on their knowledge,
persuaded them to be available for 36 hours straight to answer all my questions, and for four more
hours to be trained by me on the model. I designed a 23 page model, stuffed with information, that we
presented to the 42 person working team, gathered at our request. The presentation, led by myself for
technical explanations and the senior vice president for strategic conclusions, was a great success.
The Goldman Senior Partner, recognizing the "excellency" of our model, proposed that I remain in
charge of "all the number".
I value this experience because I gained respect from the senior executives at all three firms. But
most of all, although one of the most junior banker, I was able to inspire a cohesive spirit to our team
in pursuing our goal to produce a high quality presentation.
Learning to Surf
My move to Los Angeles in August 1992 represented not only a great professional challenge-to work
with only two senior bankers and cover all California financial institutions-but also a personal
opportunity, a chance to broaden my horizons. I grew up in Paris and lived in the capital for 21 years
before moving to New York; I definitely was a city girl! Los Angeles demanded however that I adapted
to a whole different world, where sport rather than opera rhythms the season. I knew that my first year
in the Los Angeles office would be extremely busy due to the small size of my group. In fact I
averaged 90 hours of work per week that year. To keep my sanity and maintain a good spirit, I
resolved to try and learn a sport that had always fascinated me: surfing. Thus I bought a brand new
wetsuit and longboard and started the experience bright and early on a sunny Saturday afternoon
under the merciless scrutiny of the local surfers, all males, who did not hide their contempt for my
pale skin and weak arms so typical of investment banking Corporate Analysts. Surfing seemed at
first an impossible mission: my board always mysteriously rebounded on my head, while the waves
would break exactly where I was paddling. At work, there was an explosion of laughter when I proudly
exposed my (only) personal project: why, a twenty-six year old Parisian, surfing? This had to be
French humor! I resolved however to practice every week-end before coming into the office. Last
summer, I finally stood up on my board and rode the wave to the beach. It was one of the most
exhilarating moments of my life and although I still surf regularly, nothing matches my first wave nor
the pride that I felt. Because I received little help and encouragement but prevailed, I cherish this
experience which was actually a tremendous confidence builder.
** ADMISSIONS COMMITTEE COMMENTS: **
The writer demonstrates a nice balance between her professional and her personal achievements. Her
first accomplishment shows the essayist to be a savvy business professional and highlights her good
political sense, dedication, and technical skill. The second accomplishment rounds out the image by
painting a picture of a young, healthy, active woman willing to take risks and learn new skills at the
expense of laughter and embarrassment. The latter may have been a personal achievement, but
these translate into very lucrative professional skills as well.
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